


Anticipation and Satisfaction

by elstarwarslover



Series: The Search for Perfection [8]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: "No Longer Afraid of Spiders" is mentioned, Gen, Widowmaker calls in a favor from Sombra, but it's not required reading if smut isn't ur thing lol, just know they banged, several times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 14:44:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14595270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elstarwarslover/pseuds/elstarwarslover
Summary: Prequel to "Escape."  Hope y'all enjoy!





	Anticipation and Satisfaction

**Author's Note:**

> Prequel to "Escape." Hope y'all enjoy!

Anticipation and satisfaction.  These were the two emotions that Talon’s assassins were allowed to feel: anticipation and satisfaction.  

The former was an assassin’s motivation to kill; without a motivation, the conditioning would be useless, would only break a person, when the true goal was to reforge her.  The latter was her reward; the assassin would unlearn her motivation quickly if she were never allowed some small allowance following her kill. Although reconditioning came frequently and mercilessly, even for experienced assassins like Widowmaker, Talon would not dare touch these two lest she lose the edge that had maintained their influence during and after the fall of Overwatch.

Lust, of course, was only allowed under certain circumstances.  Lust, of course, was a form of anticipation. And so Widowmaker had been allowed to keep her lust so long as it served a mission.

This was the contract that she had made, the compromise that separated her from the machines.  

Still, there were times that she was unconvinced.  She was not given any power on Talon’s council, unlike Reyes.  Nor was she given the broad freedoms that Sombra had. Nor did she command the respect that Akande did.

No, Widowmaker did not feel like she had been given a compromise most of the time.  But should she? She was a weapon, was she not? Did she ask her rifle how it felt before it took a life?  What her poison hoped to achieve in its life? Of course not; to do so would be ridiculous, would merit reconditioning.

And yet, she still harbored some small measure of resentment at being treated this way.  How dare they take her from her home, force her to kill Gérard, make her a weapon? What gave them the right?

Widowmaker let out a sigh.  For now, it was not her place to ask such questions.  It would only bring her more pain. After everything, it was the only constant throughout this last part of her life.  Always the pain, the soreness of her muscles, the bruises hidden by her hypoxic skin, the stiffness of her joints, and more than anything the sting of the needles that kept her complaisant.

But something had been different on this mission.  She had gone to Oasis after a botched assassination, trying to kill Katya Volskaya, Russia’s last defense against the omnics.  The President had gone behind her country’s back and traded the omnics for their technology. Someone had found out and enlisted Talon’s help to be rid of her.

But in the end, it had been a setup.  The alarms went off before Widowmaker had had a clear shot, and Gabriel hadn’t been fast enough to kill her before she escaped.  Only Sombra had been close enough, and fast enough, to make it, to complete the mission. Sombra, of course, had decided she had other plans.  Widowmaker’s infrared sight clearly showed Sombra in the same room as Katya, and it clearly showed Sombra walking away. And lying to them.

And so Widowmaker’s mission in Oasis had started with her off her game.  And if she was feeling some lust, well, she knew that she wouldn’t be judged for that.  After all, lust was allowed when it helped complete a mission. After all, Satya had been Vishkar’s representative.  After all, it was up to Widowmaker to complete the mission.

So yes, she needed some release, and yes she had had sex.  Several times over the course of a week. Fourteen times. But that didn’t mean anything right?

No, what meant something was the fact that after about the third time it had stopped feeling like meaningless sex.  It stopped feeling like lust. A part of Widowmaker had grown to have some genuine feelings for Satya. Feelings she hadn’t felt since her last night with Gérard.  And that was a problem.

The night she killed Gérard was the worst night of her life.  They had threatened to take him too, to do so much worse to him than they had done to her.  And despite his training in Overwatch, she knew that they would break him too. They would do everything in their power to destroy him, and then, when he had reverted to nothing but a shell of a man, then they might be merciful enough to kill him.  

“Or you can do it yourself,” they had told her.  “Spare him the misery.” What choice did she have?

Widowmaker avoided remembering that night as much as she could.  Her thoughts went instead to the two weeks she spent with him before it.  To the tears and the dates and spending as much time as humanly possible together.  To holding onto each other like there wouldn’t be a tomorrow. To feelings she used to remember through the lens of nostalgia.  To feelings she never thought she’d feel again.

To feelings she definitely felt again when she met Satya for the first time.  How it had grown to become love—or maybe just infatuation; it was, truthfully, hard to tell the difference—was a mystery to her.  Regardless, she felt it even today as she waited in her quarters for her next assignment.

Satya had these beautiful brown eyes, and looking into them felt like looking into the whole of the universe.  And the delicate care she took doing—well, anything—gave the impression that every little thing mattered. Even an assassin to whom true feelings had become as foreign as her life before Talon.

Widowmaker sat on her bunk as her emotions began to overwhelm her, perhaps for the first time in many years.  She had to tell someone, had to get it out of her system, had to vocalize everything, had to find—

Sombra.

Sombra had something to hide, and Widowmaker knew about it.  And if there were anyone here who recognized trading favors, it was Sombra.  Hell, that was how she had come into the organization in the first place. Sombra needed information, and Talon needed a good hacker.  The two interests worked together splendidly.

And now Sombra owed Widowmaker a favor.  She owed Widowmaker her silence.

Widowmaker walked over to her computer and typed “Sombra” into a document.  It would be a few minutes before she responded: although she was known for keeping tabs on everyone at all times, she did have other duties that kept her busy.

Fortunately, they did not keep her too long.  Widowmaker watched her word document become a proper text channel, with her response already formatted next to a  _ W _ .

_ S: What do you want? _

_ W: Tell me about the Vishkar rep I met with _

_ S: What is there to know?  She’s Sanjay’s lapdog, obeys his every order.  Apparently she’s a savant when it comes to hard light. _

_ W: Why was she the one sent to meet me? _

_ S: Sanjay’s in charge of ensuring that deals to expand Vishkar’s influence are sealed.  Symmetra’s his #2 in a sense. She’s the only one with both the diplomatic skills and the field experience to act in his place.  Since he had other duties to attend to, she was the one sent out. _

_ Other duties. _  Widowmaker knew about his place on Talon’s upper council.  Could that be what he was doing at the time?

_ W: Sombra, I _

_ W: I need to confess something to you _

_ W: It is strictly confidential you understand, no one and I mean NO ONE else can know _

_ S: And what makes you think I won’t tell? ;) _

_ W: I know about your conversation with Volskaya. _

_ S: _

_ S: _

_ S: Pulling out all the stops then aren’t you?  Okay, I won’t tell. Shoot. _

_ W: I’m in love _

_ W: With her I mean _

_ W: With Satya _

_ S: OH, I see. Now that really is quite the mess you find yourself in, isn’t it? _

_ S: Don’t worry amiga I won’t tell _

_ S: Oh, but how much do you really know about her life? ;) _

_ W: Not much, I don’t think.  Just what you and she told me.  Why? _

_ S: Looks like Vishkar’s favorite lapdog is in a bit of a rough situation _

_ W: What do you mean? _

_ S: Well, I could tell you.  Obviously. But, you know, this is pretty  _ vital _ information… _

_ W: You want a favor. _

_ S: That’s one way of putting it, but I much prefer thinking of it as _

_ S: Oh, I don’t know _

_ S: Making a new friend? _

_ W: Sure, if that’s all.  Now what is it? _

_ S: Apparently they’ve got her conditioned to do what they say, just like you are ;) _

_ S: Kidding of course, but only so far _

_ S: Whenever she returns from a mission, they wipe her memory clean, as though it had never happened _

_ S: Can’t quite suppress everything, or she’ll lose that aptitude for hard light that they want so bad _

_ S: But that way she has to rely on them for just about everything _

_ W:  _

_ W: _

_ W: _

_ W: Fuck. _

_ W: Can I ask you another favor? _

_ S: Depends, but I make no prejudgements _

_ W: Will you get her out for me? _

_ S: Oh, that is a big one. _

_ S: But I’ll tell you what, you’ve always been pretty good to me _

_ S: She’s on assignment quelling the rebellion in Rio right now _

_ S: But when she gets back I’ll see what I can do _

_ W: Thank you. _

Widowmaker turned off the monitor and went back to her bunk.  So this is what it felt like. To know that someone you love was going through the same pain as you.  To know that she’s suffering like that. Well, she didn’t know what Sombra would have her do, but whatever the cost, it would be well worth it.


End file.
